BREAK - Mage

1. BREAK
3. Do you break on the outside or on the inside? When you break which is more painful? Does either bring you pleasure? For me I break in many different ways. I break on the outside when my inner breaking gets the best of me. It is at this point that I start to break things and things break me. This is also the breaking point at which I try to break myself for good. My inner breaking? I honestly think that I may be permanently broken on the inside. It is as if I no longer have a spirit or soul. My heart was given a break that it cannot repair. Many times over it seems that....well I dont know if god wants to break me or if its just man. But someone likes to see me break. I wish that for once I could take a break. I want to be GIVEN a break. I want someone to walk up to me and say “hey steven its ya lucky day!!! Take a break from all breaks” . So what kindof break is more painful? For me I think its inner breaks. I heal from the outter breaks but the inner ones are forever, permanent, never going away. They dont heal. They dont just go away. I cant give them away. I have had some breaks that give me some sort of satisfaction, pleasure. Such as when I break something and that sudden pain goes streaking threw my body. Or when as a teen when I got upset I would partake in self mutilation. Nothing was more pleasureable at the time then feeling the cold steel of that knife break threw my skin. I know this is dark but it is how I think, how I feel.
4. CAN I HAVE MY BREAK FROM ALL BREAKS NOW? PLEASE?

- Mage